The best party I have ever been to
7 reasons why getting cut off by the sea on a tiny strip of sand is one of the highlights of my life.
An audio version of this article (narrated by me) is available below:
You know when you’re so excited for something, so pumped up, so tingly, that even if it ends up being total rubbish, it’ll be the best totally rubbish thing you’ve ever been to? You are determined that it will be great, so you’ll make it great. Forget social norms and niceties. Forget everyday etiquette. Forget stress and worries. This is it. You’re about to lose yourself for a glorious moment of already sepia-tinged time. While introverts may read this and shudder, that delicious anticipatory build-up can refer to anything – a month-long retreat alone in the woods perhaps, where even though you have no hot water and a live-in raccoon, you’re still delighted by the fact that you’re there.
For me though, a flag-waving extrovert (most of the time), I felt like this about Beach Rave 2018. A rave (go figure) on a beach (who’d have thought) in 2018 (no shit!) that lives forever in my heart as one of the best parties I’ve ever been to.
Here are seven reasons why.
1. When the tide came in we were trapped
There is a section of Botany Bay Beach enclosed by cliffs, where at a certain point in the evening the tide traps you in. Local DJs, artists and musicians threw a party on that strip of sand for several years – an illegal rave. At some point mid-evening, you’d have to decide whether you were going to leave before the tide cut you off or stay for the duration. Stay and you were committed until about 8 or 9am when the tide would head back out. Leave and you’d end up regretting it for an entire year.
2. I had gone home early in 2017 and regretted it for an entire year
In 2017, a group of us turned up during the day totally unprepared. We didn’t have a tent or enough booze to see us through a few hours let alone 20, so we headed home before the tide trapped us. Drinking a few gins together that evening in a friend’s kitchen we all admitted that we’d made a terrible mistake. “Sod this, I’m going to kayak back out there,” one of our mates announced – and she did. The rest of us didn’t and I was so mad at myself that I promised I would ‘do it properly’ in 2018. In fact, I bigged this party up so much during the following 12 months that a lot of people were worried I’d massively oversold it. How could it possibly live up to expectations?
3. The expectations were part of the buzz
I bought a pop-up tent and all the necessities one might need to party while marooned on a beach. I was so psyched up that I drove there on the day like a drunk on the dodgems and legged it to the beach like I knew the exact location of Blackbeard’s treasure. Part of the beauty of an event is relishing the rush of the possibilities ahead. The anticipation of knowing you’re all in it together. The build-up messages, the prep, the predictions, the promises. This party was already amazing because I was so utterly convinced it was going to be.
4. This was a proper set up
There were generators, projectors, fire pits, fire eaters, campfires, and a huge steel dome covered in lights underneath which everyone danced. We could hear the bass get louder as we approached, losing our footing in the sand and grinning like fools. We bumped into others heading the same way, wearing sparkly gear and carrying tents, all with the same glint in their eyes that spoke of the mayhem to come. It was all about the instant camaraderie, the shouted conversations, the thick tension in the air.
5. The police, a wedding party and a fantasy fire
The party started, the music huge, the beat reverberating around the cliff sides. A wedding party from the clifftop hotel above joined us. Imagine the scenes. I asked one of the young ushers wearing a tux for a photo and he misheard thinking I’d asked for a fight. The bride and groom danced under our dome and I wish I could have seen those pictures. The police arrived next, announcing something like, “This is the best organised illegal rave we’ve seen. Keep to yourselves and it’ll be fine,” before swiftly leaving. We danced and danced and danced. The tide crept in and half the people left. Those of us who remained were in it, committed to this thing, come what may. The atmosphere was wild, euphoric and electric, the scenery otherworldly and beautiful. Huge projections lit up the cliffs with dreamy images that carried a slight air of menace. Someone shouted that there was too much paraffin on one of the fires and we scrambled up and away into the caves, emerging again laughing when nothing happened, having forgotten why we were in the caves in the first place. The music continued, the sky darkened, the stars spotlighting this private island of dancing shadows.
6. I discovered an unopened packet of cigarettes in my pocket
Anyone who’s ever enjoyed a drunk cigarette will understand why I brandished this find aloft like the Champions League trophy. At that moment it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Those cigarettes were all I’d ever wanted in my whole life. That first drag flooded into my chest like honeyed smoke. There was no space in my head for anything else except the taste, the music, the people, and the feeling that nothing else mattered except right then, right now. People I didn’t know hugged me and we were so sweaty and sticky we slid off each other, whooping at the privilege of being part of this enclosed and safe weird little world. The chill in the air as the night receded tasted a little sad, the knowledge that this was soon to be just a memory marking the time we had left there as significant.
7. It lived up to my unreasonable expectations
We watched the sunrise together around the firepit, the waves gently retreating further and further away from us, expanding our island to slowly let in the real world. We slept in cramped tents or on the sand, waking up a few hours later happy-tired before staggering away looking like dishevelled survivors of a damn good time.
Just One More Thing
I couldn’t put down my pop-up tent for three weeks. I managed to manoeuvre it (closed) into my living room whereupon it popped back up and that’s how it stayed. I can’t remember how I got it down in the end.
*Exceedingly modest reminder that I have written eight bestselling mental-health books which have been translated into at least 10 languages. I’ve also written a book about the TV show Friends which would make a delightful gift for any Friends obsessives. All are available to buy online or at your local bookshop.