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Julie's avatar

Beautifully said. I had a bit of a thing about 15 years ago (f*** how am I that old?) and I came out of it with these kinds of realisations. It took a long time, but I fell back into the rat race and sweating the small stuff; you have reminded me to go back to that understanding about how unimportant certain minutiae are.

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Jo Usmar's avatar

What a great message, thank you. I'm thrilled it had that effect 🫶 I think most of us need reminding sometimes – I know I certainly do. I find it really hard not to slip back into old patterns. Hence writing the piece; it's a reminder to myself as much as a story to tell.

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Charlotte (has) Baby Brain's avatar

I feel like this is such a weird thing for me to say, but I love reading about your cancer journey. I lost my dad to cancer when I was young, and feel like your sharing of the experience gives me an insight into what he might have been thinking and feeling – I hope he found peace in the surrender like you did. (I also love knowing that you survived, and that the science has come so far!)

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Jo Usmar's avatar

I don’t think that is weird at all, I think it’s wonderful. I am so glad that it’s helping - honestly, that means the world. Thank you. And i’m so sorry you lost your dad. I lost my mum to cancer too, a long time ago, and strangely going through it myself makes me feel closer to her. X

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Wendy Varley's avatar

I caught up last week with an old friend who's undergoing cancer treatment (caught early, thankfully) and we were talking about this. The feeling of being "tended to" in adult life is quite rare.

I'm so glad you now have the all-clear and can process what you went through.

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Jo Usmar's avatar

Thank you so much 🫶 I’m so glad your friend’s cancer was caught early and wish her all the best x

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Lindsey Smith's avatar

Beautiful post. In a strange way it reminds me of having a newborn: being so physically overwhelmed your only choice is surrender.

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Susan K's avatar

So far I’ve gotten through breast cancer and ovarian cancer stage three. Four years after my last diagnosis I find that all the stress and anxiety that others are worrying about. Seems like a whisper to me now. But I have trouble empathizing with friends whose worries seem small to me. Which is sorta a problem Absolutely great writing. Thank you

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Jo Usmar's avatar

Thank you ❤️ And hell yeah for managing that shit twice! Amazing! And the empathy point is a really important one. I know a lot of people struggle with this and I don't think there's an easy answer? I never want to get to a point where pals don't tell me their problems because they don't think they're 'big enough', though. I think it's the same on the other side of the table – they worry about it too. It's such a weird situation.

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Susan K's avatar

It is. I guess it’s just a time to listen to others 🩷

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Nina Caplan's avatar

Beautiful post, Jo. I’m very glad you got the opportunity to reenter the real world, even with all its stresses. Xx

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Jo Usmar's avatar

Thanks, Nina ❤️ Me too. It was a close call for a while there, so I'm delighted to even have the opportunity to slip back into old patterns, to be fair! (P.S. "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" is currently Billy's absolute fave book. He won't let us stop reading it to him! Thank you.)

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Lanre sulola's avatar

Thanks for sharing Jo - such a great reminder on what is important and what is now!

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Jo Usmar's avatar

Thank you very much, Lanre 🫶 And great to see you here on Substack 🙌

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Eva Lydon 🌺's avatar

Another fabulous piece of writing! 🥰 x

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

🫶🏻

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