How to stop worst-case scenario thoughts from snowballing into CHAOS

'What's the worst that could happen?' they ask, smiling encouragingly. 'My entire sense of self could be destroyed,' you answer, cowering in the dark.

The Worst has arrived.

Audio narration of this article (by moi) below:

Why do our brains default to visions of Armageddon (sadly not the classic 1998 film) whenever we’re scared, worried or anxious about something – and how can we stop it?

Before launching this newsletter I had a little freakout about it. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ kindly people would ask and I would snort loudly in their well-meaning faces.

‘No-one will sign up,’ I’d say, confidently. ‘I’ll realise my entire career as a writer was a monumental blag, my freelance gigs will dry up, I won’t be able to pay my rent, I’ll have to sell everything I own, and I’ll end up wandering alone through a desert shaking my fist at the sky and screaming, “Why?!”’

‘Ah,’ the kindly people would reply, and then retreat into a bush like Homer Simpson. 

Why worst-case scenarios seem legit

For me, it was an easy leap from launching a newsletter to losing everything I hold dear. It didn’t only seem rational, it seemed inevitable. And that’s because I went out of my way to find evidence to back up my fears. 

I dwelt on any criticism or negative feedback I’d ever received; I zeroed in on people who weren’t that enthusiastic (‘I never open my emails’); and I read dozens of articles on how AI was going to replace all writers anyway, so why bother?

I cherry-picked information, deliberately interpreting it in the most miserable way possible, to back up my negative view. WHAT LOLS.

Classic.

HELLO CONFIRMATION BIAS, YOU JERK 

This spiral of doom is the combination of two systems our brains employ to get us through the day: ‘thought processing’ and ‘confirmation bias’.

Thought processing: this is the system by which our brains filter information. Our lives are so ridiculously busy, and we’re bombarded with so much information 24/7, that our brains have to choose what to flag up to us. For example, you don’t talk yourself through every step of brushing your teeth (except after four G&Ts, AMIRIGHT?), you do it on autopilot while thinking about other – more important – stuff. Your brain prioritises your thoughts.

Thought processing like this allows us to live at the pace we do and is actually very clever.

Until, that is, it comes to fear, worry, and anxiety. 

“Go higher!” they’d said.

That’s when confirmation bias steps in! Whoop!

When scared or worried, your brain filters information that confirms your fears, dismissing everything else. It doesn’t do this to be a massive twat – it’s trying to keep you safe. It categorises the situation you’re worried about as ‘threatening’ and ‘dangerous’, and prioritises anything consistent with that view so you can avoid the risk.

To me, launching the newsletter was frightening. Ergo, it was dangerous. Ergo, my brain found evidence to confirm that view in order to convince me not to do it. 

Glasses chains don’t sound so silly now, eh Gary?

Say you’re scared of public speaking. Your brain categorises it as a threat. It then actively searches for evidence to prove it: honing in on TikToks of people’s trousers falling down mid-speech or of them falling off stage. It’ll also drag up bad memories (like that time you dropped baby Jesus during the school nativity play). You’ll also start comparing your worst-case imaginings to other people’s best-case realities and feel unworthy. 

Welcome to the party, fight-or-flight response

These spirals can trigger the fight-or-flight response – racing heart, sweaty palms, deep breaths, etc. – messing up logical thinking patterns and making it far more likely that you’ll behave as if your worst-case scenario is probable, e.g. by avoiding the issue, making excuses, or blaming yourself and others. 

(*The freeze response is slightly different in this context. I’ll discuss that futher in another post, but you can read more about it in my Fearless book.)

FFS.

Obviously, this type of processing is totally necessary when what you’re considering is actually dangerous. But our brains aren’t good at differentiating real risks from hypothetical risks, or emotional risks from physical risks, and so prepares you for them in the same way.

That’s why launching a newsletter can feel as end-of-days-worthy as agreeing to join your mate’s bear-wrestling troupe.

STOP THE MADNESS 

A simple tool to stop this pattern is to challenge your worst-case scenarios:

What’s the worst that could happen if you launch your newsletter? DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. 

How fearful does that make you feel on a scale of 1-10? 10.  

OK. But is that worst-case scenario actually realistic? Are you really likely to lose everything you’ve ever worked for and your entire sense of self-worth? Well, no. But it still won’t be good. 

Do you have any examples of instances when something like this has gone well for you? I’ve written articles, books and a podcast and people didn’t chase me out of town with pitchforks. 

OK. So, realistically what’s the actual worst that might happen? People don’t sign up; it fails. 

Could you cope with that? NO. I’D DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT. 

Sigh. Come on now. Could you cope with that? Yes. I’d be upset, but I’ve been through way worse. 

Could you take any positives out of that worst-case scenario? I’d be relieved and proud that I tried. 

How fearful does this make you feel now on a scale of 1 - 10? 4. 

Ah.

When anxious or fearful, our answers to ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ are rarely rational – and yet we react to them as if they are and behave accordingly without ever questioning the thought process behind it.

In trying to keep us safe, our brains make everything seem MORE TERRIFYING and we trust them because hey, they’re our thoughts and we’re great. 

But sometimes our thoughts are twats and we have to challenge them.   

Just one more thing… 

If the worst-case scenario actually does happen, always remember that we can cope with so much more than our risk-averse brains think we can. You have got through bad times before and will do so again – stronger, braver, and with a much better idea of how to tackle it next time.  

Let me know in the comments if this strikes a chord with you! And please do consider sharing the article if you liked it. Thanks so much. Until next week!