An audio version of this post (narrated by me) is available here:
I keep throwing myself down helter-skelters of what-the-fuckery lately. Doomscrolling. Reel raging. TikTok tumbling. Increasingly, I find myself tiptoeing along the panic line. My stomach suddenly dips, and I think, “This can’t actually be real?” So much madness is happening all the time that my thoughts scatter, and I end up questioning myself. It’s like being gaslit by the entire planet.
So, I decided to write some overarching summaries of how I feel, partly to organise my thoughts and partly to see if they strike a chord with anyone else. Some of these might sound simplistic, but God bless a bit of simplicity right now, amiright? Also, there are gifs, which improve everything by at least 30% I find.
I thought we all generally shared a moral baseline
For society to tick along, most of us need to adhere to a moral baseline. Not just what we think we can get away with, but what we truly believe to be right. Sure, laws keep us in check, but I’m talking about the unwritten rules that stop us from treating others like crap. For example: fraternising with convicted paedophiles. While not illegal, I assumed it would generally be considered uncool. Not so, apparently.
Back in 2023 (such innocent days), I wrote about shame, looking at what happens when those at the top exhibit no sense of remorse. Research suggests that shame – the feeling that you have violated social norms and your own moral code – plays a big role in regulating social systems and hierarchies. It keeps everyone in check by making us fear rejection, isolation and self-hatred.
So, when the shame-bar is lowered – when there appears to be a collective reassessing of what counts as shameful – it affects everything: how we act, how we feel, and how we treat each other.
Much of what’s happening now gives me resting WTF face because, while I do still believe that, overall, the general majority share the same baseline of decency, it seems that the majority of those in power don’t. Their baselines are spelunking in the Marina Trench.
Politicians were meant to be better than the rest of us
Being a public servant should demand a sense of civic duty. It’s a mission-oriented role with the aim of making things better for the many, not the few. I therefore assumed that you’d have to be a certain type of person to want to do the job – basically, a better person than I am. (I know I don’t give a shit about the potholes in your road, but I assumed others did.)
I’ve found it depressing to watch politicians’ reputations sink so low. At first, I told myself it was just a few bad apples. It’s always just a few bad apples, right? But lately, I’ve seen too many people I once respected making morally dubious moves. Not necessarily illegal, but clearly self-serving. Things I wouldn’t do and my job description doesn’t specifically spell out that I shouldn’t. There’s also a relentless trend of individuals making huge decisions that affect everyone else (in some instances, that affect the entire world) based purely upon what’s favourable to their own careers, personal lives and reputations.
Call me naïve, but I find this shocking. A few people doing this, sure. But all of these people, across every side of the political spectrum? They can’t all have sought power to polish their egos? What happened to the big picture, Sally?
International systems meant to keep countries in check do zilch
Turns out that the most important-sounding institutions, laws, and agreements can mean sod all. There really is a global hierarchy of accountability. Some people and places are granted blanket immunity. Sure, everyone may have signed the same treaties and shaken the same hands, but the reality is that some are expected to follow the rules while others can steamroll over them – and over any naysayers – as if they’re Sylvester the Cat in Looney Tunes. It makes a mockery of what most of us thought was sacrosanct: that there are certain lines you cannot cross and that those agreements are what kept us all safe.
So individual dudes can just wreck everything pretty easily?
I know, I know. Anyone who has studied a modicum of history should not be surprised by this, but, like, really? Even in 2025, one guy can start building an authoritarian regime in the largest Western democracy in eight months – and the systems designed to prevent exactly that collapse like that rickety old table you bring down from the attic once a year? And, like, billionaire tech bros are given free reign to upend the global order with zero oversight?
(Also, why are these guys always so cringe?)
I always assumed there was a shadowy committee somewhere making sure this sort of chaos couldn’t happen. Maybe no one ever really believed it could happen, so never bothered to put real protections in place. Or, maybe the safeguards exist, but everyone keeps postponing pulling the levers because admitting what’s happening would make the whole thing too real. (Which ties back to that moral baseline – people need to believe it’s there or the fallout is too catastrophic to face. This is what fuels hypernormalisation, something I wrote about recently: no one wants to admit the status quo is rotten, so keeps pretending it’s fine. Lalalala, nothing to see here.)
It’s like with serial killers (my speciality): even when Keith is dragging a body out of his gaff in broad daylight, his neighbours are all: “Nah, can’t be Keith. Good bloke that.”
Hypocrisy and irony are on life support
Trump promised to wipe out ‘cancel culture’ in his second term, stating during his inauguration speech that he’d “stop all government censorship and bring back free speech to America”. Yesterday, he said that TV broadcasters should lose their licenses if they criticise him and three days ago he sued the New York Times for $15 billion for “being a mouthpiece of the Democrat party”. He also celebrated Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night talk show being taken off air after pressure was put on Disney (which owns Kimmel’s broadcaster ABC) by Trump’s licensing official to fire him. Government censorship? Not on MAGA’s watch!
Nigel Farage recently flew to the US to rail against Britain's hostility to free speech, simultaneously banning certain journalists from Reform's conference.
US county clerk Kim Davis is fighting to "preserve the sanctity of heterosexual marriage" in America despite being married four times to three different men.
The UK’s ex-Minister for Homelessness evicted her tenants and increased the rent just before introducing the Renters’ Rights Bill.
In Arkansas, two men – one of whom live-streamed sex acts and another who was arrested for attempted murder in Ecuador – are building a "straight whites-only homestead", with Mein Kampf in the library, to keep out those they find ‘unsuitable’.
Lol. (But really not lol.)
We accept different levels of behaviour from different people
If your always-late mate is late, you shrug. If your always-punctual pal is late, you get worried or annoyed. T'is the way of life. Yet, the different levels of expectation we have for different people is filtering into public discourse.
While Michelle Obama's famous line “When they go low, we go high” has moral clout, at some point it stops working. If the bottom-scrapers control government, banks, business, and media, sitting atop your high horse in the middle of a wasteland doesn't help.
I’m absolutely not saying we should all turn into criminals, hypocrites, liars, or irony-free zones. I’m saying we should hold everyone to the same moral baseline. We should enforce consequences when anyone crosses lines and always call out bad-faith behaviour. Expecting basic decency, empathy, consideration and logic from everyone isn’t elitist or superior. It’s normal, necessary and fair. The tricky thing is there isn't a clear playbook here. The normal responses – shame, institutional consequences, public pressure – don't seem to be working the way we thought they would. That doesn’t mean we should stop trying, though.
Just One More Thing
As much as the above sounds a bit despairing, I do think things will get better. I believe many of these people will overplay their hands. At some point, those with power who do adhere to a normal moral baseline will realise that the loudest people don’t often represent the majority. They’ll realise they have more standing than they think because the rest of us – those with the resting WTF faces – have their backs.
I won’t write about politics next week, I promise.
*Exceedingly modest reminder that I have written eight bestselling mental-health books which have been translated into dozens of languages. I’ve also written a book about the TV show Friends which would make a delightful gift for any Friends obsessives. All are available to buy online or at your local bookshop.
Damn, this line: sitting atop your high horse in the middle of a wasteland doesn't help. That one hit hard.
P.S. Loved the gifs.