20 Comments
User's avatar
Victoria Morrison's avatar

This is me with any/all doctors, consultants, hospitals etc.. It is SO affecting and frustrating! I too have sent similar emails, looking equally cray cray, but when one is at the end of their tether, a little cray cray just leaks out 🤪

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

I think a little cray is essential!

Expand full comment
Helen Barrell's avatar

I've been through the same thing. Just someone reply and tell me what the heck's going on! Will I ever get to see the damn ENT consultant or not???

Expand full comment
Justin Myers's avatar

This was the only thing a semi-hefty Twitter following used to be any good for. (But only once I’d exhausted every other avenue, I hasten to add.)

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

Yes! I am now hounding them on LinkedIn because I got rid of Twitter a while ago. I have zero clout on any social media, alas, (I wonder what LinkedIn clout would look like – I shudder to think), but I am not giving up. Nicolas Cage pics all round for everyone until I get some kind of response.

Expand full comment
Aliyah's avatar

What it takes for advocating for yourself these days!! Shouldn’t be this hard. Thank you for sharing these thoughts

Expand full comment
Tamzin's avatar

This is such an important message, and I really do think that at least when it comes to transcription services and the like (ever tried getting refunds owed to you on flights? Flights get cancelled, you're stranded, you have to book a new one, the company swears they'll pay you back, but trying to get through to said company is like screaming into the void) are honestly designed to make us all more miserable these days, more disconnected from each other, more lost. It's not an accident, it's by design. And it sucks...

I'm so sorry you went through such a painful experience, only to then be ignored afterwards. It adds insult to injury. Some things just aren't fair.

It's funny, because one thing people tell me most is that I have an ability to make people feel seen and understood in a way that they don't have otherwise. I don't mean this as a brag, it honours me so much that I made it an integral part of my work. But your post is the first time I've stopped and thought about the fact that people probably should need it at all in the first place, they shouldn't need me or anyone to make them feel seen! How did we get here?!

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

SOCIAL MEDIA. Honestly, I think that has one of the biggest roles to play in all of this. Thanks so much for the comment. I'm delighted the piece struck a chord and that your pals have someone who makes them feel seen. And nope, never tried to get flight refunds... Yet. Playing the glad game though – I GOT A REFUND!!! The company finally coughed up after one too many Nicolas Cage pics. Hurrah!

Expand full comment
Daniel Puzzo's avatar

Valuable lessons and so much frustration and aggravation. I've been battling all sorts of Austrian bureaucracy (very Kafkaesque at times) for a couple of years now. It's been doing my head in.

I always learnt - maybe - some painful lessons with my first book, published last summer. I contacted so many people for help with reviews, promos, and I also got a bunch of unsolicited offers of help, I must've given out over 100 free copies and the return has been almost zero. As you said, *crickets*. What am I supposed to do, beg, plead, cajole, scream?!?! 😭

(Laughing about it helps - it's my only coping mechanism; that, and more writing)

Expand full comment
Charlotte (has) Baby Brain's avatar

Leaving this comment to say I notice you so please don't tie me up in a prom dress and hold a knife to my mouth when you eventually turn invisible. Also have fun at the spy academy for invisible girls, that place looks fun

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

😂 Okay, I promise - no tying up. I’ll just send a postcard from the spy academy. (I was gonna say I’d send photos, but that doesn’t really work when peeps are invisible.)

Expand full comment
Charlotte (has) Baby Brain's avatar

😂 Those would be some confusing photos to receive

Expand full comment
Dana Walker Inskeep's avatar

It's really frustrating, I agree.

Practical suggestion: Call your credit card and dispute the charge. I barely try contacting the actual company that charged me anymore...they rarely will contact you back, hoping you just give up and take the L. But your CC company will do that heavy lifting for you...that's what you're paying them for (if you carry a balance and/or have an annual fee). Make those bitches work for that 25% APR!

Impractical suggestion: Mail a glitter bomb to their physical address (if you can find one.)

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

Ha! I love love love the glitter bomb idea. Also, I didn’t actually ever consider going to my credit card company which is entirely practical and sensible, so thank you! I, instead, ended up sending loads of random pics of Nicolas Cage and… IT WORKED. They refunded me this week! So, I think it goes: glitter bombs, Nicolas Cage pics – and then the credit card company.

Expand full comment
Julia Norberg's avatar

I let loose my loco today to a guy who ghosted me (I know, not the same but still) and just point blank asked - in writing - why he just stopped responding? Had something happened that I didn't pick up on? I don't even care to get a reply, I just want to make a mark in the universe and state that I'm not okay with just being ignored!!!!

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

It's not okay! Good for you for addressing it. Mark that universe. WE EXIST. 💪

Expand full comment
Oliver's avatar

So true! After how many attempts am I allowed to start sounding petty in follow-ups? Asking for a friend.

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

Tell 'your friend' to start sending pics of Nicolas Cage or clips of Lionel Richie singing "Hello? Is it me you're looking for?". You know that'll get their attention. Tbh though, 15 years as a freelancer and I'm none the wiser on correct etiquette. I tend to give one polite follow-up, two max., and then leave it and move on. The trouble with being ignored with work stuff is you don't want to burn bridges by becoming a pest – but then sometimes follow-ups work and had you not sent it you would have missed out. IT'S A MINEFIELD. I DON'T KNOW, OLIVER. ARRRRGGGHHHH. Sorry. Hopefully someone else will reply and tell us all what to do 😅🤞

Expand full comment
Oliver's avatar

Haha, normalise the act of “Lionel Richieing someone” I like it. Will report how it goes.

Expand full comment
Jo Usmar's avatar

Sound the astonishing news klaxon! I JUST GOT A REFUND. THEY PAID ME BACK IN FULL 🥳 Those random pics of Nicolas Cage I started sending did the job 💪

Expand full comment